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5 posts tagged shopping
Ash Wednesday
It’s arguably the worst day of the year. The revelry, debauchery, and overindulgence of the previous month or so is brought to an abrupt halt both symbolically (with the beginning of Lent) and literally (with the police parading down Bourbon St sending the party-goers away as the clock strikes midnight on Ash Wednesday). Carnival is over. The purple, green and gold sequined costumes go back in the closet. Beads and other loot are stuffed in the attic or thrown away. People return to school and work. The tourists go home. After all, no one wants to be in New Orleans during this bleak time of year known as Lent.
I used to hate Lent - I’m not religious and I enjoy eating meat on whatever day of the week I please. So, I shunned the tradition. However, I’ve recently started to look at Lent the way most people tend to - as a time of rest and rejuvenation. Now I’ve embraced it and I enjoy the challenge of giving up something I enjoy entirely for 40 days (although I still don’t go to church nor do I refrain from eating hamburgers on Fridays). I see it as a personal test to prove to myself that I have no addictions that I can’t overcome. Last year I gave up drinking, coffee, and Raising Cane’s Chicken (how did I live!?). It was surprisingly successful - all three make rare appearances in my diet these days. This year I asked myself, what am I addicted to? The answer came almost instantly. This year I am giving up:
Online Shopping
Go ahead and judge me. Brooke, you’re a materialistic, self-centered fool. There, I did it for you! Maybe it’s true. I’ve spent over $200 on products I purchased with the help of the Internet this month alone. Disturbing, eh? However, I think the problem goes much deeper. Who’s ready for me to self-analyze?!
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I grew up dirt poor. I’ve whined about this before so I won’t spend too much time on it. I didn’t quite live in poverty - my family had enough money for me to eat everyday and I always had presents for Christmas. However, money was scarce so I couldn’t just buy things whenever I wanted. Now that I have my own money I have this unavoidable urge to just spend it. Maybe I think it will all disappear if I don’t use it. Maybe I am just trying to make up for lost time. The bottom line is, it’s destructive.
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I have a poor self image. Don’t feel sorry for me, guys. I know you want to, but this has actually improved immensely and I tend to love myself more often than not (maybe too much). However, since I grew up with the same aesthetics as a boy (short hair, baggy shorts and affinity for climbing trees) and was teased for it, it seems that for some reason I am now obsessed with being a girl. I know I post about fashion and beauty a lot, but guys this is new. I am still learning how to keep my legs crossed when wearing skirts and apply makeup properly. This obsession with looking like a girl has translated into a need for me to spend copious amounts of money on makeup, shoes, clothes and all that girly stuff.
I get that this is all in my head. Saving my money is smarter than spending it recklessly and I don’t have to prove to anyone I’m actually a girl. But, I enjoy it so! This month isn’t going to be easy, but I’m ready. Let Lent 2012 begin!
