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So I woke up this morning in a pool of my own blood.»

itscandidlycara:

Wait, let me back up.

Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering that my period is pretty much permanently irregular, I get to wake up a lot of mornings in a pool of my own blood. Hmm. Lovely.

I then proceed to dump my sheets, my underwear, and my pajamas in my laundry room in a tub filled with cold water, with the hopes that this timeI haven’t ruined them permanently.

What next? Well, a shower of course! To wipe off the smell of rotting blood from my body! Squeaky clean and towel fresh I have about a two minute window before the volcano of blood begins to erupt again from my vagina.

What will it be today? A piece of chlorinated toilet paper cardboard with a string that I get to shove up my hole wherein the blood will sit and rot until the next time I can shove another piece of chlorinated cardboard up the same hole? Or, a plastic lined toilet paper diaper attached to my underwear that causes rug burn to my vaginal area when I walk? Well the later requires less coordination, and it is early, so I guess I’ll be sitting in a period diaper today. The best ever.

Of course, I could always just get birth control, and lessen this whole shit. But 1) I can’t afford it 2) I can’t ask my dad to pay for it because, guess what? Just like the men who run my government, my father correlates birth control with sexual promiscuity! Thus, sitting on my rotting blood, undergoing severe cramps that have on more than one occasion caused me to black out, it is! (Not that birth control is such a walk in the park either, our bodies have to learn to deal with the hormones and other chemicals and consequences that birth control entails.)

Then, I get to go to class, where I have to pretend that I am not a leaky faucet of blood and tissue. I get to sit in Calculus, and if heaven forbid, I need an additional pad, I have to be discrete about it, so as not to offend the men’sgentle sensibilitiesto the fact thatI am the one dropping tissues and blood from my body through my vagina.  

I once asked a male to take me to the pharmacy so that I could pick up (GASP) pads, or as we like to call it “feminine products” (again, so as not to offend the gentlemen’s overly sensitive natures) and had him equate me talking about my period to him talking about his erections.

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME

No.

This is nothing like your fucking erection’s. I don’t derive any enjoyment from this. I can’t mentally control any ounce of this entire process. I can’tmasturbate my problem away. My period does not end in orgasm.

It stays. For at least five days in my case. Draining blood out of my body. Causing me severe cramps, making me irritable -not because I’m uncomfortable (which mind you,would be reason enough) - but because my hormones are all over the place, bloating me up to two sizes larger than I normally am, I have to actively fight not to smell like a fish market, and on top of that, you want me to be hush-hush about this? Because it’s icky foryou?

And this is not an attack on that one man, this is an attack on ALL MEN who on top of sitting on their throne of gender privilege want me to stay quiet and be content about the fact that five days out of every month I get to undergo thishappiest of joys.

And then, these very same men have theaudacityto get annoyed because we don’t want to listen to their bullshit complaining about traffic? Or whatever other meaningless story they happen to tell us while our bodies are actively fighting against us? Then we get to be the butt of their tired-ass jokes? Sorry, I am most certainly not sorry.

I repeat NO. I say women come out of the period closet and say, “You know what, this happens to me. Every. Fucking. Month. And it’s terrible. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MORNING.” Because the truth is, if I live in a country where Viagra is covered by medical insurance, but birth control isn’t, I can no longer keep denying that I live in a country that is actively waging a war on women. And if I live in a country that is actively waging war on my sex, the least I am going to do is break patriarchal social propriety to inform anyone and everyone of the shit biological process I was BLESSED enough to be born into.

Hello, my name is Cara, I’m a 21 year old woman, and today I’m on my period. Let me fucking tell you about it.

YES. Thank you. 

This hit home for me because the reason that I got on birth control is because I have a very irregular periods - in fact, if I don’t take medicine I often won’t have one at all. This is called amenorrhea. It can happen for many reasons and is always annoying. 

I’m convinced this whole birth control/women’s health controversy and debate is a product of certain people attempting (and succeeding) to gain media attention. I just can’t believe that some people in America in 2012 can possibly be ignorant enough to think that birth control is unethical. What happened to freedom of choice? How can so many people possibly ignore that and all the health issues?  Why now after birth control has been around for so long? I could rant longer, but I’d rather do something I enjoy so I’m going to go eat a burrito. 

Get over it.

Poli-ticks Me Off

I’ve been trying to educate myself about and understand this whole “politics” thing. It’s not working. At all. I just can’t get into it. I like to think that the reason I don’t understand politics is because it is just uninteresting and annoying. All I associate with the subject are old men who care more about what the Bible says than what society needs and who are more worried about slandering the opposition than showcasing their strengths and making the world a better place. But, maybe I’m just being cynical and overgeneralizing. I really am trying to care these days! What have I been doing? Well, I’ve been reading articles from reliable websites on the subject. Turns out there’s a lot of information out there! My main problem is that I’ll start an article, quickly get bored and not finish it. As a result I remain uninformed.

If I decide to register to vote as motivation I’ll likely vote for Obama in November. I’d like to say that this is because I’m a fan of his policies (Which I am! The few I know of, at least. A.k.a.: legalizing gay marriage!) or that it’s because I’m a Democrat, but that’s not quite it - I am not aware of all of Obama’s plans mainly because I know I wouldn’t understand them (how does the economy work?) and even though my views are mostly liberal, I think the bi-party system’s only achievement is causing arguments between people therefore rendering it counter-intuitive to the kind of forward progressive thinking that involves people working together instead of against each other. But, I digress. I’m mainly basing my favor for Obama because he seems cool as hell. Observe:

This is why I’ve decided to base my votes solely on what’s on the outside from now on. It may be shallow and incredibly stupid, but its way easier for me. Appearances and charisma are things I understand, unlike health care. That’s why I like Obama. He’s handsome. He has a sense of humor. He’s black (which was a huge change America needed, take that racists!). Obama doesn’t give a shit - he’s content just being himself and that’s awesome. He and I could totally be pals and dammit I want the leader of this country to be someone I relate to (screw the rest of you). The other guys are white, seem stuck up and think open marriage is lame, so they’re out. I mean, I know I’m technically white too, but as far as I know that is the only thing I have in common with every other candidate out there. 

On a related note, to further show you how utterly ignorant I am about politics, my mind was somewhat blown today when I realized that Herman Cain is black. This is almost as life-altering as when I found out that Drew Brees is white! I can’t help it that I assumed he was black because all I kept hearing about what an excellent ball player he was!

Race: Obviously not black

On a related note, I’m an idiot. 

Please understand that I know I should care more about the results of an election because the future of my country is at stake. I get it. But, instead I choose to be grateful to all the informed individuals out there who do the job for me while I focus on things I enjoy way more. Like blogging.

How do you feel about politics? Any advice for me?